I miss my missing dog

I was just lying in bed last night thinking about Shawnie, our missing dog whom we dearly love and would give up anything just to find her again.

She was mysteriously gone when we came back to look for her just 5 minutes after we left her to pee by herself downstairs. Never happened before and she never came back.

Shawnie has been through alot in life. ( Her story here) She was abused in a factory and never had the fortune of having a home. Until she was found and rescued. Then she was found to have cancer, but Thank God she was healed. That was when my sister took her home. We all loved her and she was such a darling to everyone. She was a timid dog despite her fierce appearance, and would shiver whenever she see strangers. She could not be blamed for that, she had many bad experience with humans. But she was happy in our home, she loves us and we love her alot.

Its been more than 5 years that you're gone Shawnie. I wonder if you are living in bad conditions without food and shelter, abused and lying at night wondering if we are missing you. We had , meanwhile, took in another dog who was abused too, I wonder if that would help us in reliving our guilt of not finding you. I wonder if you are suffering and you are so scared of people, Shawnie, I know you hate to be away from home. I hope that these are not true, I hope that God had found someone kind who sees your beauty and takes good care of you and love you as much as we do.

I miss you so much Shawnie, I'm sorry we didn't went all out looking for you 5 years back. Now I wonder if we did, we might had found you. We never spoke about you at home anymore, because its a pain in all of our hearts that we will never recover from.

God, please, be good to her. I wished I had tried harder 5 years back.