Almost to the end of the journey

I have my 2nd last paper in just about 12 hours' time-- Cancer. After which I have Genetics on 27th and then I'm done.

I am blogging at this hour despite my need to revise still, I just feel so. lost suddenly.

I know I haven't been blogging about anything the entire month, this place is unhappening i know, I don't post like many self-portraits, but I just hope my friends are still reading, hah, please, if not I don't have audience anymore, quite sad eh.

The entire month, or semester, I had been trying my best to change the way I do my work, the way I treat people around me. I guess I did improve on my style of working, and I really really think I had changed for the better in my studies.

On the people part, geez, God I'm still working on it. Like Mariah Carey would say, " cos' loooove takess time...". I don't think I'm very good at being apologetic. or saying sorry. So to the people whom I think I would have offended in school or anywhere else, sorry, like big time. Let's just takes things better from here onwards. I promise.

I kind of just isolated my life for my exam this month, and I just hope to get better results. You won't know how badly I need it, I am currently not even quite eligible for my hons. I just hope whatever I am doing, I got it right this time. I prayed pretty hard, even though I must admit I had lost quite alot of faith in believing for good results, I guess I don't lose anything by hoping? :\

Well, at the end of the road, I wonder where I will be heading. I..just don't know.

I don't know how things are going to be like after the exams. Like I said, I feel lost

because

I know I will not be doing the study routine anymore
I know james is going away in a month's time
I know I will be busy with my minor
I know I won't be spending as much time with my gfs and R who is back
I know I will lose some social life and gain some

I don't know how things are going to be like. I'm so timid I hate myself sometimes.

But change is going to come, whether I invite it or not. So come la, I will deal with it, because I can. Please help me. I promise to be brave.